“Grand Coalition”: A Liberal Glee Club song about the inevitable.

If you don’t already know, the “Glee Club” is a Liberal tradition where Party members, on the last night of Conference, get wicked drunk and sing songs satirising all aspects of politics,  including yourself. 

The below is one such song, to the tune of “Waltzing Matilda”, by Andrew “Banjo” Paterson, itself already repurposed for the classic Liberal song “Losing Deposits”:

Once a left-wing voter came across a polling booth.
Went inside to vote for Ed.
When the votes were in we got a hung parliament.
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?

Chorus:
Grand Coalition!
Grand Coalition!
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?
If you vote Labour you’ll get Mr Cameron.
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?

Miliband said “we’ll keep all of our promises”,
And even carved them into stone.
On the fourth line it read “controls on immigration”.
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?

Chorus

Nicola Sturgeon said “we’ll help Ed kick the Tories out”;
Ed replied; he said “No thanks!”
“We’d rather have Cameron than Salmond in the Cabinet.”
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?

Chorus

Miliband asked Dave if he’d help the country out.
Save the union and our nukes.
Deport all the immigrants, cut everyone’s benefits.
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?

Chorus

Clegg heard about it and wanted to be a part of it;
But his party said “No way!”
“This coalition has no place for liberals!”
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?

Chorus

Now it’s 2020 and the government is hated.
Labour and Tories ripped to shreds.
Now all we’ve got left is Greens, UKIP, and Liberals.
Who’ll join this grand coalition with me?

Chorus

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